((((hugs))) I'm glad you came to PC where you can gain support and advice too!

First let me say something most of us with depression already know: depression tells us lies. Try and remember that what you think isn't always what is really the truth.

I'm sorry you feel so desperate. There are good steps you can take to begin to become healthier. There are many good suggestions about sleep, eating well, and taking care of ourselves, all over this site.

Sleep is important, you are right to be concerned. A good routine for bedtime, and good habits (like going to bed at the same time each night, not using the bed for anything but sleep, and making a list of things on your mind before you go to bed) will all help.

It isn't difficult to lower cholesterol through proper eating. I guess you've had a physical recently, because you know your numbers? There are foods that can also help reduce the bad cholesterol, while increasing the good.

Depression is stubborn. It's often from a long history of bad reactions to events in our lives. Not always though. If you had chronic pain prior to the depression, you could be reacting to the pain with that hopelessness too.

Reaching out to others is a good thing you have done here. Do you have a school counselor or someone to confide in?