so let me start off by saying I'm still stable. But I've been feeling off for a couple of days now and it's been triggered by the smell of summer. Like, have you ever been triggered to remember a particularly bad episode, and feel anxious and upset because of it? That's what's happening to me. It has been particularly hot and humid here for a few days. The air smells like it does in the middle of summer. And I'm not sure why but every time I step outside I am transported back to inpatient in my mind. I am transported back to the last couple of summers, both of which were horrible messes of depression and mixed episodes. I literally feel like I am reliving it, at least for a few seconds. It's disorienting. It's put me off for the whole day. This on top of terrible triggering dreams about IP, self harm, and total breakdowns. I don't know why this is all happening but I know I've been smoking twice as much because I'm so anxious.

I did move on Saturday which was very stressful and the stress plus the smell may have triggered this weird stuff going on. Not to mention I packed up Myers and didn't find them until yesterday. Missed a couple of days.

I'm sure I'll be alright, I was just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar.