Wow, I have not seen this for a while, reading my post with the caps means I was angry at the time. I hope I did not trigger anyone when I did that. I have noticed so many thanked me, could relate to the anger themselves.

I was not in a good place when I posted that either. It was only a short while after I went to a mediation with my case and it was "still" nothing but game playing by the opposing side.

It was the first time I had seen the lawyer that had desposed me back in Oct of 2010 where I ended up having a flashback I could get out of, this lawyer is representing the insurance company that my neglegent neighbors have. What an awful experience that was for me, she did play the role of "being nice" that I had read about too. I never did get to finish being deposed either, my now exlawyer was getting so much worse in "dementia" that in spite of my pleading with him in tears to get it done, he kept failing to remember scheduled depositions.

This time almost five years later, she had a very different behavior, she would not look at me, her body language was very "cold" and she sat with another lawyer and an adjuster whispering in a way that I just knew was "negative about me". If only she knew, if only she even met my neighbors, she would not like them at all.

Can you imagine what is like to want to approach someone so badly to tell them what really happened, that my lawyer was failing me and I could not even call her to ask her, that I called so many lawyers to help me and as soon as they heard my lawyer's name would "not" help me?

I could not go near her, but instead had to watch her march in and out of the room where the Judge was there to listen to both sides, all the while her intention was "no negotiation" after all THAT IS HER JOB.

But I had flashbacks from when I had a post traumatic stress breakdown, ended up in a psych ward and my own sister was so cold like that too. I AM A BAD GIRL, I DON'T DESERVE TO BE SO HURT, and instead I was literally abandoned in that awful place over Thanksgiving and my sister insisted that my parents don't come visit me. NO ONE came to visit me, so I ate Thanksgiving Dinner with a group of people that were on so many medications they were very confused and IT SCARED ME. Most of the time I was there over the 9 days I was there, thinking I would never get out of there, I was having the PTSD chills. Well, when I get triggered I get these chills, I even have burns on my legs because I can't get warm. When I went to the doctors for my injured leg because I slipped on the ice and I think I tore my colateral ligament, I made sure I wore socks to cover these very red areas so he could not see. That's another thing, I have been waiting and waiting to get an approval to have an MRI so I can see/know what is hurt. The doctor was honest with me and told me it could take several weeks, and that is how it is now. Well, that is what I do, I wait and wait now. I have been waiting now for EIGHT YEARS and counting for my case to finally resolve.

I am also advised not to reveal I have PTSD, because of how the opposing side will only use it against me.

What has happened to me, and is still happening IS WRONG. There is not a day that goes by that I don't pray that science will show how much damage this "due process" can have when a person is telling the truth and is challenged with PTSD. It is cruel to keep someone going on for so many years "trapped in the trauma" like this.

There is more I could share here, but I am just too tired to today tbh.