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Originally Posted by always_wondering
Hi Baseline. I have it. Major fear of separation from my T. I would have been really upset if my T wanted to end the session early and then was off for a month.
I'm wondering if your T knows the full extent of your attachment? If he had, he would have been more sensitive to your needs. My T is aware of my attachment, but I don't think he knows the full extent either. My goal for the next session is to make sure he gets it, and we find out why and then work on getting me unglued from him.
I have been trying to detach for over a year now and it seems nearly impossible. It feels as if I have no control of the situation. As soon as I decide to cut back, or to quit all together, I go into a haze of almost depression. Then when I tell myself I'll keep going, I'm back to normal.
I'm with you, two weeks seems like a lifetime, a month would be painful. I see my T every week and this seems to be comfortable. But, for how long?? It just might be until eternity, which would be ok I guess, but I would rather not.
Keep me posted on how you are feeling. If you get the separation pangs, please feel free to send me a pm. It's so helpful to vent the feelings.
Hang in there.
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Hello Always_Wondering, Thanks so much for your support! I really appreciate it.
I believe he knows the full extent because I gave him what I wrote about it in my journal. I tore it out and gave it to him in case I lost my nerve. I also gave it to him at the end of my session, thinking he would discuss it the next time he saw me. Unfortunately, we did not and he still has my notes.tHIS WEEK HE ASKED ME WHAT i wanted to talk about and that wasn't one of them. He said did I want to end therapy early if there was nothing else I wanted to talk about. I was taken by surprise and my pride would not let me continue so I said ok. Then you know the rest. I never wanted to need him or rely on him or trust him. I feel like a loser for thinking that he might actually care about me.