Wow, this is so interesting.

Sunrise said:

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I am very bad at depending on others.

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I am too. I know I said that I depended on others but that is only to define who I am NOT for any sort of support, comfort, anything that smells of dependence. I know it is a paradox, but, I would look outside of myself and my family because I did not trust any of the available models for self-definition as I knew they were not worthy of emulation. So, maybe dependence is the wrong word, but looking to others to see who I am,or better what mask I could assume?
Like you, I refused to depend on family members for anything as I learned to keep my mouth shut and my needs to myself. It was better than exposing myself to abuse, ridicule, shame.

And, yes, slowly unraveling with T...not wanting it to become diluted with couples work.