My husband suddenly stopped having sex with me 3-1/2 years ago. It wasn't long before I was asking if he was having an affair. He didn't deny it. He also started insinuating he was not attracted to me any more.

I am 57 and he is 71. On several occasions I found him masturbating. This convinced me he really was no longer attracted to me - I am about 20 pounds overweight & have never had much self confidence.

When I'd had enough & asked for a divorce, he told me he has ED.

I am angry & resentful that for 3 years he let me think he was cheating & that I was so unattractive he no longer desired sex with me. Recently he has started being suggestive & no matter what I'm doing, he gropes me. He made me feel so ugly for so long that I can't even undress in front of him now. I lock the bathroom door when I shower.

I've told him I don't trust him enough to have sex with him now, and I cringe inwardly every time he gropes me. He's never apologized or explained why he let me take all the blame, and now is angry with me for not forgiving & forgetting. I want us to see a counselor but he absolutely refuses.

How do I get past this? I feel as if I can never get beyond this. Has anyone else ever been in this situation and found a resolution? Thanks for any insight.