for several years starting around 11 or so, i had horrible images, urges, etc. to harm children and other people. i also had a morbid fascination with serial killers as i got into my teen years. it all spiraled so bad that i had to stop babysitting because i was afraid i might act on the urges.

when they hit, it was like a dissociative state, getting stuck in them, so i am not sure what degree for me was an OCD type thing or PTSD/trauma related mixed with it.

it was incredibly difficult and scary to deal with though.

my OCD stuff seemed to change into other things over several years. now i just deal with cleaning type tendencies when i am stressed or things change in my life which i can deal with much better than the other things i went through.