Quote:
Originally Posted by marigold115
Seeker, I do intend to end it. The hitch in the giddyup is that he's undergoing chemo right now and fighting leukemia. My life is never boring. I am his main caretaker, and it is easy to see all the texts he gets daily. I keep looking because I would rather know what he's doing than have it done behind my back. I, of course, can't leave him now, but I am planning an exit strategy.
An interesting update: I took him home from the hospital on Sunday. Today I discovered he texted an ex-girlfriend while we were in the car on the way home. It's particularly ironic, because we had a "discussion" about her two nights before. She wanted to visit him in the hospital and he told me about it. After our discussion, he texted her and told her not to come. Then on the way home, he texted her in my car. In my car with me sitting next to him! And...his first ex-wife cooked dinner for him tonight.
I'm not leaving him while he's fighting cancer, but every time I read a new text, my love for him dies a little bit more. I do think God put me in this situation to help him through this battle with cancer. I just can't figure out what He's trying to teach me. After 32 years with a complete jerk for a husband, why did I have to fall for a lying cheat? There's a lesson in there somewhere.
Thank you so much to everyone for the replies. I SO appreciate it.
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I spent two years as a caregiver to a sick man, who was sick when I met him thru a singles site, and who refrained from telling me till he had me feeling "in love" with him. He was dying so I felt it my duty to hang in there and be the primary caregiver. He was a lot like your fella. There was no texting then, but he received calls and letters from former girlfriends, and even kept one old girlfriend's picture in his wallet (none of me). All because he said he loved me, and I thought I can't leave him now! He NEEDS me! DUH!
You've stated you divorced recently, and so this suggests your relationship with this man is fairly new? So, at what point did you learn he was sick? Did you
choose to date a man with leukemia from the start? Or did you only find this out after you fell in love with him?
I hung in there for two precious years with the sick man, who, in fact, sought me out because I have such a caring nature. He even had a notebook of checklists of the qualities of the women he was meeting when he met me.
It sounds cynical, what I'm suggesting, but I have been there, done that. I DID leave. And you can too.
Oh, one more thing...he CAN survive and make other arrangements for his care. It's not your job.