(((musinglizzy))) I am sorry you are in such a difficult place right now. I know for me that the first 1-2 years with T were awful, SH, dissociating and finding life very difficult. For me I don't know whether T was to blame, or whether I was in a downward spiral anyway.

Do you really want to quit therapy or do you think it would be worth exploring someone else? Do you think this T can help you anymore?

Does your T know all those things you highlight in your post? Maybe quitting is the right thing, or would extra support be helpful, for example upping to 2 sessions per week?

If you really want to stop, I know I have been advised before to talk to my T about it, although that always seems so difficult, but I wonder if you can talk to yours? Is it therapy you want to quit, or is it about escaping the difficult feelings?

Has you T ever taught you any grounding stuff to help you right now? Like noticing what is happening around you at the moment, sights, sounds, smells, going for a walk?

I know those feelings can be really difficult to sit with, but they will pass even though that may be hard to imagine at the moment.

Take care, you do matter. Soup