Hello bear paws, I can relate to your post, and I don't think I could cope with your situation, I prob have avpd or cptsd and have an overwhelming need to be invisible, but in my area of work I'm successful, I think I was just lucky that I found a job that I loved when I was young and have slowly and cautiously worked my way up. My personal life on the other hand is a complete disaster, I have no real friends no relationships and the feeling that I can never be invisible enough, I put up a big fence round my garden and thought this would make me feel better, but it's not enough. I've literally locked myself up in a fortress of protection and that protection now imprisons me.