I am afraid my depression has led to laziness. Now that all four of my boys are home, I know they see it as "mom's fat and lazy and stupid and worthless." I know my husband feels that way too. I just don't even care about not caring anymore. Nothing is going to get better.

I am thinking of moving out to a very small apartment on my own if I can scrape the money together. I don't need much. The problem with this is that my 83 yo neighbor needs me to visit her and take her shopping and to doctors appointments. I know I would upset her greatly if I did this. She has no family and is all alone with her cat. She has isolated herself and I feel responsible for her.

My family resents that I am trying to help her when I don't do anything at home. It is extremely hard to try to act happy in front of her and it wears me out. I know I am trying to compensate for the fact that I don't remember helping my mom and dad when they were sick. I may not have been patient with them, they have been gone for ten years.

Am I lazy? Is there anything I can do to try and change my boys opinion of me.

BTW, I was a very good attorney working for a not for profit, making lots of money and not being home for my family. They also resent me for this. The part I think I hate the most is everyone treating me as if I were stupid. I was once somebody, but now, nothing.