Quote:
Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki
I agree with all of the posters above! I don't write as eloquently and thoughtfully as that, but I wish I did.
I just want to add one thing. When your therapist uses the term "crossing over", I think that means your feelings are leaning more towards the erotic than the maternal/affection type?
It sounds, to me, that when that happens, she considers withdrawing touch and hand holding. That as long as it's not erotic she can touch you but if you become aroused, then she has to stop?
That is not good, almost seems like a veiled threat. If she can't handle erotic feelings she never should have incorporated touch into your therapy. But since she has, she CAN NOT stop now. She needs to learn how to deal with all of the love feelings.
As we have seen with several other PC members, withdrawal of touch, after allowing it, can be catastrophic, in my opinion.
Take care, sweetie. You work so hard in your therapy and have grown so much.
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Thank you, Pam. I'm going to write more later, but what I am thinking is that it's not my T who can't handle erotic feelings, but me. The hand holding is for a specific purpose, to calm me down, not arouse me. It isn't good for me to feel aroused in therapy, and it has happened, and it feels good, but triggers what I'm missing in RL. My T knows that. Holding her hand has always felt safe and makes me feel calm. I agree with my T that if it would excite me, we'd have to discuss what to do, to stop or replace it with something different. She was wrong that one time she thought I was crossing over. I hate that phrase. I'm writing it because it's what T called it.