I think this is an insightful question. If in fact this is the case, it is probably something worth exploring. There may well be two things going on simultaneously: your fear/anxiety over having sexual feelings towards a woman, and the lack of a satisfying emotional or sexual relationship with your H (or others) outside of therapy.

While I don't experience any sexual attraction towards my T, I can definitely say that there have been times when my relationship with my T was more emotionally intimate than my partner at the time. I'm sure my level of emotional attachment to my T at that time had a lot to do with what I was missing in other relationships. It doesn't change the fact that I AM emotionally intimate with my T-- but I do notice that when my RL relationships are better, I don't cling as closely to my T. I realize this is not the same as your situation, rainbow, because there is no sexual element here-- but I do think emotional intimacy is a big part of what can lead to sexual attraction.