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Originally Posted by Noski
Of course that's valid and I know that her parents are over protective but I know we're both pass our mid twenties and are adults and we live minutes away (by the way we went to the same university but we didnt know each other before ) ,so 'm just not convinced that she really wants this ;I don't knowI mean it's the same neighborhood we go to I guess etc etc..
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Ok a bit of honesty here, you're past your 20s I assume early 20s. First off, you're still both very young adults and for some (in that age range) there is a lot of maturity to still go through so it's not a really accurate gauge for how much one's family still has influence over them or should have. Keep in mind I have other friends that are in relationships where their SO is in control of them, and they have very little say in what goes on in their lives, and these are adult people with kids of their own. The idea that because she's an adult would nullify the effects of overprotective and controlling parents is just oversimplifying the situation. The lady I spoke about in the previous post was in her early 20s also and technically yes, she was an adult and should be able to do things she wanted to but the effects of manipulation, control and over protectiveness can continue well past adulthood without the right help. Please understand that..
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As for your last point ,you're right I can't predict but I just know that from our past conversations.We talked a lot about everything .I just know but fair enough .The weird thing is that back in february I went to a concert (show related artist ) and she also wanted to go but she had to travel back home and it was my birthday the next day,she did tell me that she wished she were there and celebrate with me .So I'm really confused at times .
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I understand feeling confused but you either have to trust her word about this or really, move on. Thing is if she's truly as close of a friend as you say, the mistrust or questioning who she is, what she is, her motives, etc.. should be non-existent or it's really not as close of a relationship as you might think. So in other words if you want this friendship to grow and mature you'll have to take her word, if you can't do that you probably shouldn't continue to be friends with her anyway.
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Anyway "If you argue against reality ,you will suffer" :The reality is that it's not happening for whatever reason and I have to accept it and move on but I am just not sure where does the friendship go from here .I don't know If this is a texting friendship,I don't know ,she referred to us as besties,she told me I was very important to her and that she appreciated my friendship and support,so taht seemed genuine to me but I just wished too I could be there in real life whenever she needs a friend instead of always texting but Fair enough.I don't force anybody to do whAT THEY're not comfortable.So I'm just gonna let go,even though it doesn't change the way I feel
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it may be true that she feels you're the best friend she has but that does not need to require a meeting in my mind. here is how I see this part of your response: you and your friend have a difference in values. you clearly place importance on the ability to physically be in your friend's life and she doesn't place it as high on the list. Thing is, for her maybe a best friend is merely someone she can trust, can confide in and lean on, and it doesn't require being in their presence. My best friend is the one a state away. He has always been there, got me through a lot of hard times and I know I can trust him. I'd like to meet him and his family someday but it's not a requirement for us to be close friends. I guess her thinking is similar to mine in this. You'll have to reconcile the differences in values and essentially one will have to compromise for the other or it won't work.