Life is going to be okay, and you can recover from a depressive disorder. There's a lot of care and support on forums like this. I've found this to be useful in helping me sort things out in a somewhat anonymous forum. Medication and therapy have been useful to me as have the concerns and supports that I have received from family.

What struck me about your comment was that you referred to yourself as "broken". That was the same word that I told the social worker that admitted me to my one and only hospital stay. I remember someone - maybe an intake nurse - listening intently to my words about being broken. His empathy for my situation at that time led me to conclude that in being broken I could emerge repaired.

Now I have the scars from the repair that are learning experiences that I take with me everywhere. I understand the strength that it takes to endure depression. It was that intake nurse who told me I'd be stronger after being broken. He is right.

I do wish you well in your struggle with this affliction. I tell you about some of that which I endured to let you know that there is life after depression. And I've learned that staying connected here when I'm feeling well is just as important as being connected when I'm not well.

Best wishes to you in your struggle