Depression IS an illness. Treat yourself as you would any friend who is suffering from an illness with tenderness and compassion. I've had 7-years of unrelenting severe depression and many days I wonder just how much one person can take. I too am a fighter but it has taken a toll. Today, I practice acceptance and congratulate myself for whatever small accomplishments I make. It's hard to "keep the faith" that I may one day feel better but, that's all I have to hold onto....hope. You're not alone in this journey...luckily, most people will never understand how devastating depression can be, I've given up trying to explain it to others.