Quote:
Originally Posted by Thought+Broad.Girl
ever notice yourself in the mirror?
ever feel like that person staring back at you changes if even slightly depending on what is happening in your life at the time or your mood at the time?
Well. i was noticing that and thought about one of my best old friends (name remains nameless). anyway on her facebook, she looks Hot. but when i think about how she looked (to me anyway) in person it was a completely diff story.
but that just makes me think about perception and how dif people see eachother.
i mean are people all the same? does everyone see things similarly or is it as subjective as what your fave. color is?
idk. but what i do know is when a person has high self esteem and is doing well in life, their whole aura/persona changes. they take better care of themselves.. and they just look/seem better no matter how much of an A*hole they may have been to you in the past and to other people as well
.. so question is. how do you change the way people see you in society. especially when you have an emotional disorder or mental illness in the first place? or is it all really all about how you are seeing yourself in the first place?
I Heart my Friend forever! :P  |
I'm dealing with this exact thing in therapy right now. I have BDD, anxiety, and depression, all seemingly triggered by being bullied in school. So as a college student, I now have a very complicated hierarchy of groups who, depending on how similar they are to the kind of people who bullied me, have a different standard in my mind. For example, I won't deal with disrespect from beautiful girls and young men as much as I'll deal with it from fellow ugly nerds because beautiful girls and young men = my bullies, but ugly nerds = people who always tried to cheer me up after I got bullied. The social order in my head gets very complicated, this is just the most simple example I can give.
For me, a big chunk of this stems from societal problems as well. How we treat women based on beauty, how we treat poor people, etc. For my therapist and I, right now we're working on changing the way I view society and not necessarily how I view myself or how society views me.
This is because:
1.) I actually do value myself. My self-hatred stemed from other people telling me I was bad, but for me, there's nothing wrong with my looks.
2.) Society is large, so it's very hard to change how it views you.
3.) My biggest challenge is wanting what other people have, whether that be their looks, the respect they get, the authority they have, etc. Frequently, I say to myself, "I don't care what hardships they might have in life, I still wish I was them!"
So, in short: I don't change the way society views me because it's impossible and I don't change the way I view myself because I find nothing intrinsically wrong with me. I change the way I view society because really, that's the only option left to get better.