Of course, that is not true. They don't know I have depression, because I never told them. If I ever was slightly in the mood of being stupid enough to tell them, they'll say "They caught you with their lies! Grow up!" I don't know who they are, or what that's supposed to mean, but they believe in it for some weird reason. I can't help but think, why are they so close-minded? I don't seem to find a clear answer to that question.

I've been very depressed this week, because I stopped taking my medication for two weeks due to a serious case of hypertension, stage 1, as a matter of fact. Now I'm better, and back to taking my medication, which isn't something big and severe, it's St. John's Wort, but I stopped to focus on a supplement unique to hypertension. However, that's not our subject. I've been feeling very numb, I still am, but tonight they want to celebrate my sister's birthday at a restaurant, on a week-end, in a very crowded place, and I'm too numb and not ready. I told my mother that I don't want to come, but you already know the response and how jokingly aggravated it was. So, now I'm going, and as always, I'll remain silent, and they'll do the talking and the laughing and eating, and I'll be playing the role of a seat filler boy. So why am I there exactly? To show them love? Love only shows if I was having dinner or something? Even though I'm join to be completely and utterly silent throughout the entire evening? I know I might be thinking too much, but when I ask them to do something for me and they apologize, I don't yell at them, I understand, smile at them, maybe try talking them into it a little bit, and then attend to the matter ALONE. I don't go aggressive on them. I really just want to be treated the same way.