No regrets, you are NOT an idiot! But I still stand by what I mentioned in a previous post that this is a wonderful time for you to do some self searching and realization. Being alone is not a bad thing. It can bring on some wonderful introspective thoughts without the outside pressures of other people. It can be a healing time for you.

We all make mistakes in life. None of us is perfect. We cannot change what happened in the past, but we can learn from it, apply it to the present and the future and move on. There is no good that comes out of kicking ourselves when we've made a mistake or when we have been dismissed by another person we care about. Sure it hurts, I'm not saying it doesn't.

The "feeling stuck" situation comes from not being able to make the personal changes in your life that you need to make. Once you do some soulsearching and start taking care of #1 (which of course is YOU), then you will find that you can move on and grow.

Make this a positive time for you hon. Putting your efforts into you is necessary and very gratifying when you reach a point of feeling better about yourself. Positive attracts positive.

I wish you well on your journey. Keep posting and getting feedback. It's a great way to open your eyes to the possibilities that lie in wait for you! Good luck hon!

Hugsssssss
J