Mouse,

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I was very dependent, but my actions said "no I am tough"

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Yes, I recognize that in me too. It's a way to self-protect/not feel the sting, huh?

I think part of the appeal of on-line support for me, is that I could pretend it wasn't real. Therefore, if I become/becme disappointed, I could pretend it didn't exist. That's my ultimate fantasy--I just zap people and/or myself away. Gone. Kaput. To my surprise, I found the same feelings creeping in--fear of abandonment, unresponsiveness, etc.