That is what I had told my daughter as she had lost two tragically already before this one suffered so much damage.

I on the other hand am having a problem, as I developed PTSD and struggle with "detachment" issues. I disassociate, but it is not on purpose. I think it is because not only did I see it, but that it was so many, with too many sad endings. Plus, I was also actually treated badly for being so overwhelmed that I developed post traumatic stress. Combined with that is that I have also been consistently invalidated in my lawsuit too, and that has dragged on for way too many years. My therapist has told me that I suffered emotional abuse on top of the trauma, so what I also developed is "complicated grief disorder too".

What also happened is that because for several months I got up every morning and every day was about addressing the damages and it was so sad, especially when I lost my little pony, I literally had like a "battle fatique" taking place. I got so bad I just could not get up and do it one more day, plus I was not getting sleep at night either. I ended up going to that psych ward, and that only traumatized me even more, no rest there either, no grief counseling, just being locked in with strangers that were very changed/disturbed and quite honestly scarey. When I got out after literally "begging" to get out, my husband came to pick me up and he was VERY ANGRY and on that ride home I realized that I had to somehow find a way to shove whatever it was deep down and get back into again addressing it all every day. It has now been 8 years and I have not had a break. Instead I slowly developed full blown PTSD. Plus, my neighbor continued to be intrusive and disrespectful and I also got trapped with a mentally declining lawyer. I did not find a true trauma therapist until over 3 years of slowly declining further into PTSD.

I don't even know "how" I managed to run my business either. It was very hard and part of why I kept up was to try to not only pay on the bills I already had accumulated in veterinary expenses, but I kept trying to earn enough to continue figuring out the extent of the damages, something that is being used against me too. But, it's not the same as when a human being can go to the hospital and worry about paying "afterwards", animal hospitals and veterinarians will not treat unless they are paid.

It took me a really long time to figure out "how" the PTSD was affecting me, at one point I was extremely detached. Honestly, I think my brain was trying to "get a break", because I did not get a break. I had begged for "rest and greif counseling", did not ever really get that. I wanted, needed to get some distance from it all so I could process it, never got that.

I do know what you are saying, and that has been my answer many times too. I keep "trying" to reconnect again and when I struggle, the first thing out of pretty much everyones mouth (except my T) is I need to get rid of my horses and ponies.

It's been VERY HARD to explain to others how challenging this is to me and that as much as I want to JUST again, something is very hurt in me and I have to do the best I can to understand it and work on it.