Quote:
Originally Posted by BayBrony
I just think the whole idea of "crossing over" is odd. I mean, our bodies respond to touch in a way that is separate from our thinking emotions. Arousal can happen in weird situations and doesn't necessarily make sense. My gp who was a man at the time once produced a similar reaction. Arousal on that level is involuntary. So I guess it's strange to me to stop touching unless you are getting aroused every single time. In 6 months of body work i had that reaction once. The last two sessions it didn't happen and I don't expect it to happen again any time soon. It would be crazy for my T to quit doing somatic work because of an involuntary physical reaction that is isolated.
Maybe it triggers me because it's a term that was used in some Anti-gay Christian literature in the 90s and 00s...to guard against close same see friendships "crossing over" to relationships of a sexual nature. Your T may mean something completely different.
To me the whole concern about crossing over seems over blown...everyone gets turned on by something bizarre at least once in their lives. ...
Ah...iI just figured out what was bothering me. It's like your T is scared of your erotica transference with the whole crossing over thing. You WANT those feelings to come to the surface. That's where the good work happens. Like hankster said what is underneath those feelings could be very different from what you think. It's not the time for your T to widen touch boundaries but for her to pull away suggests a discomfort with the transference that seems at best unhelpful and at worst homophobic
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Thank you, BayBrony. My T isn't afraid of the transference and I think you misunderstood because she's not taking anything away. I think I got aroused a few times maybe, in 5 years, and never from holding Ts hand. She made a mistake once and decided holding hands was inappropriate. She admitted later it may have been her stuff, not mine. Not her fear of transference or sex, but she was going through a divorce at the time.
It's not healthy for me to get those kinds of needs met by my T. She's very conscientious and careful to be sure my therapy is about me, not her. I'm going to talk more about my issues with feelings for women, sex, and touching at my next session.