Hi Negotiator,

I'm not a therapist, but I've been to see therapists before. I think there are choices we can make in our behavior. It is possible to go and talk with people directly when we are having difficulties, but sometimes if we're having trouble talking with others, or trouble resolving problems with another person, it may be time to look for alternatives. Sometimes therapy can be helpful.

I was trying to think of an analogy. I have friends who play golf, which is an intriguing sport, but it can be frustrating! There are a lot of intricacies to perfecting one's golf swing. One of my friends has periodically taken lessons from a golf pro, and it has really helped him enjoy his golf game better, and perform better on the course. It's helpful to get advice and tips from a coach, who can give you some perspectives, tips, and ideas you may not have considered before. I think seeing a therapist is similar. In terms of communication, therapists can coach us on ways we can communicate more effectively. And they can also help us work through other past issues that may be interfering with present-day life, when appropriate. So while it is possible to play your "golf game" as you are presently doing, by just going to talk to the person right now, you may find it helpful to talk with a therapist/"coach" if you are continuing to have a lot of difficulties in that relationship.

Take care,
ErinBear