You can stay on here, that's not the problem and as your thearpist said if it occupies your mind that is good. But you do not sound like you are ok. You sound very, very manic and a few posts ago you sounded rather desperate. I know what that feels like and it is awful. I hate the hospital too and nearly always manage to stay out but that doesn't mean it's not a good choice sometimes. Honestly after the last time I delayed going until I was too close to the end I will never not go as soon as I near the point that I don't know what to do with myself anymore and nothing is helping me calm down. That scared me into thinking the hospital is a better idea than what my brain comes up with. I don't want you to land there and it sounds like your mood is starting to shift and when you're so high up down can be a long way to fall and if that is happening you need help before you are slammed too hard with too much, even if it is the middle of the night. Where I go most people seem to come in the middle of the night. It's a scary time when you can't sleep or stay still.

Being safe is the important thing but if you are starting to cycle out of the mania that may be pretty hard to do at home, especially if klonopin that has knocked you out in the past isn't doing anything. I've been there too and it's scary when that happens (in fact that was a big part of my episode that I'm getting out of).

Just take care of yourself.