Hi Juliana -- Please do not blame yourself.

First, it sounds like he has committed something that is more than an ethical breach, but like something that could cause him to lose his license.

Second, even though law enforcement officials swear they can tell when someone is lying, there is no communication research that I know to support this. At least, not as of the late 1990s.

We often can tell when someone we know well is lying, because of what poker players call "the tell". However, the traditional signs of lying that law enforcement officials use, such as not making eye contact, can be deceptive.

However, sociopaths and con artists are successful at deceptive [b]because[/i] they are good at it. By definition, a person isn't a con artist who is bad at it!

Two months to uncover his lies does not seem too long to me.

As well, perhaps your self-judgment about how you could have been faster uncovering the deception is just your mind distorting the reality.

You are getting out, you have made huge progress from where you were, and dating is filled with such sand traps. That's why we date before committing.

I don't think you have a thing to feel badly about in your own behavior. If it bothers you that you were intimate, next time put it off a bit.

Hugs and hugs and hugs.