What do you think of friends or family members who make suggested appointments for you without your presence or agreement there and then?

A friend of my sister have started to call me few times after my sister moved many miles away from him and me. He called me again to babble on ( mania that repeats itself ) about my sisters problems and a bit later told me my sister had suggested that I could visit him on this holy day.

Just to say I like and love my sister and I also like her friend which I also see as my friend. All of us know that each of us struggle with depression and mania, each of us having different way how we struggle. I struggle a lot (again )with my mental capability these days, then I dont shower for three days, I just go around in my pyjamas and are mentally tired and dont want to go out of my flat if I dont have to.

And this is ok and this friend did understand. My sister too understand. Me and my sister come from same background so we know how bad it is to not be able to want to do something.

But isnt it rude to suggest for others you can visit them without even asking "you" first? The friend said it got so empty after my sister moved and I truly do understand that, but I am not being able ( neither do I want to ) to become a replacement. I like him ( as my friend ) but my mental capability is not there and its also different how you go together with people when alone with them. I have never been alone with my sisters friend yet though. When we all three have been together we go good together and I relax then. I dont really do that now when feeling I have to be in my sisters place. Maybe that sounds weird since I see him as a friend.

Isnt making decisions going to happen when everyone is talking together and isnt it right that a person should make the decision her/himself and not others?

When people make suggestions without your presence how are people gonna be able to not feel guilt for not doing what they suggested? Then you feel you let people down.

I dont want to feel guilt but that is how I feel. I dont want to be someone who does stuff just because others have suggested it.

I guess I also think its a bit odd to suggest for others specially when they know you struggle and even struggle themselves.

The friend didnt want go out on this holy day by himself, neither do I, because town is stuffed with people and noise. He said it would rain and that would also be one reason to not want to go out for him, but still he made the assumptions that I would not have any problems taking out.