I can't even get any more homework done... I've had all day, I oughta do more than I have. But I can hardly concentrate on it in my room, and when I do get at it where I can concentrate I have to fight off sleep - like my brain's too tired for real thought. Doesn't help it's dreary out - talk about an extra kick for depression.
So I really need to do something with myself. But I can't go looking for something... I can't tolerate the idea of trying to be outgoing at this point, or even social, really, and I've done all there is to be done in my room. I hate it when there's no structure and nothing to do.
I need to find some way to be around people. This thought pattern is not going to be healthy. I just wish I knew how... which is another thing, someone at the hospital brought up Asperger's Syndrome, she isn't so sure I actually have this, but that I think that way as a result of how I grew up. Eh, but what do I care. The only thing I really want anymore is to feel like I belong in this world and am loved. I'm sick of feeling like some strange, socially incompetent pathetic creature.