I have BiPolar type 1 and I'm on a ton of lithium and some risperdal. I'm also an alcoholic/addict. I have had suicidal thoughts on a daily basis as long as I can remember and I'm 43 years old. About 9 months ago I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and put on lithium and my suicidal thinking went away. Today, that's changed. My weekends have always been long tracks of lonely time that I did my best to fill and with the help of my meds, I filled them pretty well. After many months, today I find myself questioning why I keep living at all and I should just end it. What's the point, in this empty, do nothing, desperately trying to fill up my empty lonely time life. What is it worth? Right now I feel like there is no real point in being around. I don't know. I have no exact plan for suicide, but I just don't know. I just want things to be different.