When I started seeing my new T, I asked her if I could record our first few sessions because I thought it might help me process things better and have a better sense of whether we're on the right track or not. I was transcribing our first session today and I think I figured out why it doesn't feel quite "right." It's because she tends to...not exactly interrupt me, but jump in before I'm finished my thought to say things like "wow" or "uh huh" and then paraphrase/reflect what I was saying. But when I was reading back the transcript of our session and listening again to the recording, I realized I couldn't tell if she actually understood what I was saying or if she was just repeating things back to me.

For example, I was telling her about my friend who took a lot of money from me, and when I said, "When I stopped talking to her, a lot of my anxiety just went away and I felt calmer and more centred," she said, "Yeah, like it was situational," or when I was saying, "Everyone is drawn to her and thinks there's something so special about her, and I did too," she said, "Yeah, sounds like she has that affect on people." Or when I said, "I brought my other best friend to be with me at that point because I just needed someone with me to support me," she said, "Yeah, on your side." And part of me is confused as to why this bothers me, because I think it's a pretty normal thing to do...I think it possibly just reminds me of a previous T I had who I didn't really "click" with and who I just felt was parroting things back to me in slightly different words.

My current T occasionally does this, but she says lots of other things too, and she usually waits for me to finish what I'm saying before she starts talking, and when I'm talking the only thing she tends to do is say things like, "Mm hm," or "Aw," or whatever...not like long sentences just reflecting back what she just heard. I know this is a common therapist technique, but I already know that "my anxiety went down when I stopped talking to her" = "my anxiety is situational," and it just feels odd to hear it back and like maybe she's repeating but not understanding so much.

Like for the first 40 minutes of our session, I don't think she actually understood that I had stopped talking to this friend, even though I'd mentioned it eight times. But at the 40 minute mark she started saying stuff that made me think she still thought I was in contact, but then I scrolled up and listened again and realized I'd been pretty clear several times, but I think she missed it...for some reason it just doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like she's said anything particularly helpful thus far. I know we're only four sessions in and she doesn't know me so well yet, but our sessions aren't reminding me of sessions with my current T who I think is really wonderful or past Ts who I thought were great and who I clicked with, but it's reminding me of the one T I had who I never felt anything towards and accomplished very little with over the course of four years.

Does this make any sense?