This is actually the first time I have responded to anyone. What you said is exactly how I feel. I also have a "profession" but unable to work because of my depression. None of my "so called" closest friends even want to discuss my situation. I have bills coming in and i just can't work, I don't know what I'm going to do either.
It's just a mess. I also have no one in my life.

I'm just so tired of all this stress and no one to talk to. Friends just don't seem to get it and even if they do, they don't want to talk about it. I think they're afraid you're going to ask to borrow money. Which I have never done.. I desperately need to get back to work and I just can't .I don't know what I'm going to do.

Your last sentence - Alone, hopeless, old (kind of), broke, scared and a broken life with also nothing to look forward to except a life of pain also until the day I die.

It's so very sad, isn't it?