Sorry you are feeling lost, confused, in pain and unhappy. It might be time for professional help like a therapist or a psychiatrist.

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. For me protein is essential to mood stability. A high protein some naturally raise chicken or fish (mostly soy, yogurt, scrambled eggs (no flipping - i cut out some or all of yolk) low carb diet with snacks (roasted cashews, sauteed tofu) or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central. These could raise your energy level but that may not be the problem. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.