Unfortunately I have a job that leaves me time to think alone the entire day. The rumination has often led to crying spells and even my first panic attack only a few months ago. It's a miracle I've kept this job almost a year for the awful way the days go. I can feel the dread when I walk in each morning because I know there's a possibility my thoughts will throw me into a terrible way, making it that much harder to return.

I might be on my own with this, but I also feel guilt-- like I'm causing the pain I'm put through for the way my thoughts go. I try to focus on other things or keep a song in mind to distract, but it usually won't carry me through an entire day. Now I believe it doesn't matter what job I might have or where else I go. My mind and what it does I can't escape. Anyway, I'm glad to have come across this thread and see I'm not the only one.