maybe what im feeling really isnt there its all in my head...someone said it was all due to my mind, i was so sure this pain is real...now i dont know what it is....i mean now i dont know what i am feeling...first i cant trust my emotions ...i dont know if they are real or not...and now i cant trust my bodily pain...and i bet you 10000 percent that the lump in my chest is due to me....i bet you its so much in my head that my body forced out a lump just to make my pathetic self happy...you know how you hear of women really wanting to be pregnant to the point where they have all the symptoms including the belly...but with me its a lump in my chest....stupid stupid me ....how pathetic can i be to get attention like that...they should shove me in a garabage can because i am so stupid to do stuff like this because there are others who really have pains due to illnesses ...while here i am making stuff up and forcing lumps out of my body...im so pathetic...i hate myself so badly......this is crap....sorry for my rant