wow! amazing story! wish i was that brave. a brother of mine is agorophobic. and i never wanted to end up in the house all the time with no job or life at all. at 17 i even went to a group home to avoid this. stayed out that way as long as possible but felt very lonely and ended up coming back home. and even when i got back to the city i enrolled myself in school. but ended up meeting a guy. we stayed together for 10 years. now that we are broken up, and with everything i have gone though in life. i have a hard time getting motivated to go back to school.

i am super depressed and still have thought broadcasting and guilt/shame after all these years and am just not sure it's worth it. i think i would take comfort over just about anything else in life right now.

i met this guy recently on plenyoffish. he has a four bedroom house, and wants a wife and kids and has called me about 5-6 times since the first time we met. and i think he would want to marry me if i tried hard enough. i would get out of my situation, living at home with my mom and on ssi. but i don't want to go through that. i am not in love with him, and he seems nice enough but i don't want to be thrown into any situation that takes me that far out of my comfort zone even if my life could be set doing so.

comfort over anything else right now is my answer.

but yeah i know what you mean about your mom. self conscious and anxious type. my mom is the same, and she didn't have any friends when i was a kid. and i struggled in school too not to mention we were on General Assistance growing up so that didn't help me fit in either since i was over weight and low income i hardly had anything to wear during my school years.

life is painful but u have to take it as it is. and play the cards you were given.