For me, personally, when I am depressed, these are the symptoms that I can really relate to; that you have mentioned in this post:

"Then I say something within me doesn't feel right, I mean that I get this really low feeling and it's more constant, and I'm struggling to not let it get to me or let me cry in front of others. I'm hardly eating, maybe just one meal a day because I feel like I can't be bothered eating and also my husbands grandparents also live in the house and his grandmother is the one who will watch what you're eating and how much and to avoid that I just don't eat."

So yes, I wanted to say please hang in there, I know it's not easy, but I am glad that you have posted here now - and may you receive the much needed support that you deserve.

Take care.

Depression Symptoms, Information & Treatment - Psych Central