I grew sad reading your post. Very sad.

I have no inclination to talk you OUT of your "frame" of reference. (I think that'd be more than a tad arrogant of me... a stranger... offering "cheer up" advice. I don't even invite that from friends.)

You've experienced a lot of difficult downturns... it's understandable you'd feel so badly. You have legitimate, heavy losses that... if you didn't feel really awful... I'd question your gut.

I'm sorry that things are rough. That's about all I can offer, I'm afraid.