Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I think my biggest problem is discerning my intuition from my emotional impulses. Whatever I am feeling, they are STRONG and every day is an exhausting fight to stay grounded. Like Innerzone said, I also have trouble with "grey matter". I am a very open person and want to consider all view points and options. I am a big believer in fate, destiny, life purpose. I wonder at times if my intense feelings are trying to lead me to my destiny and what if I'm missing it by ignoring them? Is that crazy? Before I was medicated I did some amazing things because I followed my feelings/impulses. Maybe I'm not meant to stay in one place. The urge to travel is STRONG. Probably due to my illness I am a vaguely spiritual person and I believe there is a higher meaning in these feelings, whereas a doctor and my diagnosis would say they're a reason to medicate me even more. I hate taking my medication! I wish we lived in a different kind of society where I could just be a free spirit and do as I feel. Is that so wrong? I guess if it is affecting others negatively then yes but I also think that we cannot control how others react, we just have to live our lives.

My internal compass is out of whack! I have never known anything other than living according to my feelings minute to minute and day to day.

Well I'm just rambling at this point but it helps to have an outlet.