Thank you.

I don't want sympathy, the sad truth of it is, this forum is all I have to share my feelings. I couldn't possibly tell people close to me how I'm feeling. I've tried and it just makes things worse for me and obviously them. I know it's not healthy to bottle things up, but I don't know what else to do.

I'm pretty broken today. The woman from the crisis team has made me feel like I'm an attention seeker and that I'm making all of this up. Like I've been partying all weekend, now it's Monday, I want something to do, so I'll start making all these things up and ring them. Ive been posting here all weekend about this. I'm not making things up. This is all too painfully real. I saw this same woman last Tuesday. I told her about my medication and counselling not having helped before and she said "have we done anything for you that you're grateful for". These are the people I am dealing with.

I tried to work today, but I just broke.

I rang my GP a little while ago. He said to stop taking the Lorazepam as it sounds like I'm not getting on with it. Story of my life with medication. I told him 100% I wouldn't harm myself, and I won't.

I'm desperate for help. If it doesn't come tomorrow from the Psychiatrist, I really am in big trouble!

T