Hi Bill3, thanks for your reply and for sharing your thoughts. I agree, I could have avoided displeasing them by either sticking to my routine or apologizing. But on one level what I am attempting to do here is to recalibrate their expectations to be more in line with normality. Unfortunately by either apologising, explaining myself, or arguing I effectively allow them to continue to set the agenda and wield the power in our relationship. If I am to shift the balance of power back to the centre I have to disrupt the normal course of events. Unfortunately that means I have to be hard and not yield to their emotional blackmail no matter how much they try to escalate the situation.