Kimberly, you made me cry, good Tears. I remember giving birth to my first after 3 1/2 days of labor at home and 2 hours of pushing. There he was. I thought he was going to be a she but he was there. I looked at this tiny precious gift and knew I could never betray his innocence. Of course now he's being a grumpy 20 year old at me but... The point is you and I and the others have broken the cycle. My babies knew they were loved, they were carried constantly and nursed until puberty(just kidding on that one but it felt that way) It's how I don't let her win. It's how I change my story by giving them what I never got. That pain and emptiness doesn't magiaclly go away but I have learned and am learning. I can love openly now even with adults. I was at a friend's father's wake today and was hugging my friend and just told her I loved her. I do, she does. It's a special relationship and she is nurturing to me as I am to her. How cool that I can tell a grown woman I love them? This topic has been taboo for me for many many years. Glad to be discussing it with you all and I am happy you shared with me. By the way Kimberly is a pretty name.