Thanks for your reply. I think that is great advice. Predictably when I called I was "reprimanded" for not having let them know I was o.k.. I was treated to a monologue on how terrible it was that I was distancing myself and "what had they done to deserve it". A lot of issues were conflated together as though related. At the end of the conversation I was told that "the next thing you will know is that someone has died, since you don't keep in touch". For a while, after the phone call, I felt quite sorry for them and questioned whether I was justified in progressively distancing myself. I fully understand that it is hurtful to them. A part of my still cares very deeply about them and their well being. But after thinking further about it I realised that they are very self centred. If they had any doubt about whether I was o.k. they would have been more gentle and spent sometime to genuinely enquire about me. The reality is I have problems of my own. But of course I cannot tell them about those problems, since they wouldn't understand and would simply focus on how they might be affected. No, the monologue was all about how they felt; it was a reaction to their progressive loss of control. The outpouring of heartbreak at my "callousness" was yet another manipulative attempt to bring me into line. I think the most tragic thing is that, in their senior years, my parents still have no idea who they are or how to be happy and contented in their own lives. It's taken me years to realise what is happening here and to finally begin to break free from them. I'm not going to back down now. If anything this latest outburst has strengthened my resolve. Now I wish I hadn't given them so much freedom to deliver their monologue unhindered. As usual they have spoilt my weekend by laying such a huge guilt trip on me. But I do feel that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I feel that their grip is progressively loosening with time, as I gain a different perspective on their actions.