Thread: Grrr...
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Old May 18, 2015, 04:20 PM
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cashart10 cashart10 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
Quote:
Originally Posted by RisuNeko View Post
I hope your appointment this week is productive and helps lead you toward getting well and not crashing.

I have to commend you for not doing any of the risky activities often associated with mania like drugs or extramarital sex or massive spending or traveling to random places in the world or running away from your family. I know you said something about driving too fast so be careful about that one, but otherwise good for you for finding something neutral and not dangerous to focus on and sort of ground you.
Thank you RisuNecko! Being a severe worrier helps prevent me from serious trouble unless and until I become psychotic. I have spent over a grand which for my poor family, is pretty devastating and I have been watching fairly ugly pornography which for me is pretty damaging to me and to my sex life. I am feeling paranoid today though, or maybe more than a little. I feel sick and like I just need help (disclaimer: this is not intended for religious debate). I just remembered this verse: If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble,
Possible trigger:
Matthew 8:6. My daughter was worried about that "evil song" being suck in her head causing her to be in trouble [with the Lord]. It was my fault and, I would have kept playing it if she hadn't said it. I even thought about playing it anyway. My views on music have torn me apart but, I can't give them up. They are my core. Plus, I have a strong desire for and (way TMI) I masturbate to women. I am cussing. I am listening to music I would have at one time avoided. I rarely go to church and have no relationship. My thoughts are very evil. Maybe I will go to hell? I am worried. I can't stand it. I feel like I need to hide.
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder

Last edited by cashart10; May 18, 2015 at 05:59 PM.