That would basically describe me.....but what I have learned LOL by the age of 62 is that you can do it in a more diplomatic way & get what you want (maybe not always the way you want it) but the end result will be the same if you don't make the other person feel bad about it.

I have learned to speak out for myself....I didn't have a voice growing up other than fighting with my parents but I have learned to LISTEN, READ, GET ALL THE FACTS & put them together to logic people through most of the things that I just fought for before.

I left my H after 33 years of marriage....but it was because I was doing everything anyway & I couldn't trust him to do things that one would normally expect from a H if they were needing assistance at a time....so I decided since I have to do everything anyway....get him OUT OF MY LIFE so I don't have that complication & person hiding information from me.....this way I know EVERYTHING about EVERY aspect of my life.....& honestly, I'm much happier than the hell I was living in for so long....honestly I was so tired of fighting after 55 years of living....I was seriously hoping that there was another way.

It's been much easier working with people than against them to get the things I need. I'm no different....still the same strong person who knows what I think & knows what I need & will not settle for being pushed even though many times I have been talked into doing it their way because they are sure, only to find out I was right in the end, so I am much less willing to even try anything THEIR way especially if it comes to something that I KNOW about myself.

Honestly I wouldn't want to be any different. I love being independent & being capable of doing almost everything that I need to do (other than when it takes extra physical strength)....but I usually try to figure out how to work around that also before I EVER ask for ANY HELP.

I actually was an only child that grew up in a neighborhood of all boys. My dad & mom were my examples of what I didn't want to be like & I really didn't have any positive role models around me growing up so I sort of made it up as I went while trying to fit in as best as I could....being quiet helped as I would think my thoughts rather than say them to start with until I got more secure with what I was thinking...but there were some things I stood up for no matter what & that usually had to do with animals)

Most of the time I have found that presenting my thoughts with a "this is what I think" rather than how my dad would do "this is the way it is", it's accepted better & it also brings about more positive discussion.

Growing up in a boy neighborhood, I was definitely the tom boy, ended up at the beginning of my firmware design engineer career being one of only a couple of women in the department & I played racquetball with the best of the guys & gave them good competition....so they sort of looked at me as one of them & never criticized me. I learned from others things I didn't know (unlike my H who thought he knew everything & had nothing to learn). I saw traits in people that worked & those that I didn't like to be around (definitely those of my parents) so I worked hard to NOT be like them & find traits in other people that I admired & worked at making them part of ME....so even though I didn't have a mentor to guide me....I sort of learned from everyone around me.....it was definitely a challenge....but I wouldn't trade independent, logical thinking for any other way of being & I have stopped attacking people who didn't do what they needed to do right....they always got it right in the end & by not attacking it made all of us a little happier in the long run.

The long & the short of it....keep the traits that you really like & smooth out the rough edges on the ones that seem to cause the most difficulty in your life & if something REALLY DOESN'T work....get rid of it & figure out a better way........I think this is the process throughout life from my experience.