I can totally relate to all of this but don't know the answer. I am currently in a deep depression and can't find joy in doing anything, even the things that used to be what I was driven to do. I can't even eat, or get the interest up to go prepare food for myself. Totally unmotivated, stuck. I know that this is depression because I feel very unhappy, negative, unworthy. I am on a new med that isn't working, and it has been tough to get help from my p-doc because he is booked.

In the past I still felt lack of motivation unless it was for the few things that really interested me. I realize I was still depressed then, too, just not to the same degree I am now. I have always lacked self-esteem, been extremely self-critical and lacked confidence to do more with my life, not even really knowing what I wanted. That was part of it, not even having the dreams and interests. I don't know the answer, other than that the meds I'm on now aren't working at all, and the one I was on before maybe was helping me be a little more functional, but I would not say I was operating optimally at all.