All of this helped me so much. It helped me to pick myself up, go through the daily motions, and then one day it just clicked; why had I let this guy treat me like a doormat for four years? I went over it and over it in my head and what I saw was a systematic destruction of my self-esteem; some at his hands, and some at mine. I've made new goals and I'm sticking to them. I've been so happy; it hasn't been easy, but my over all life quality has improved. I'm really proud of myself and I don't want to lose this progress. I've been exercising, doing well in school, and I recently started seeing someone new with a focus on keeping it healthy and maintaining my boundaries. I constantly remind myself that I AM good enough for someone to love, and that I don't need to change myself to fit anyone's standards. I'm not dependent anymore. I like dating this guy, but if things don't work out, I'm okay being alone too. I've never felt that before: okay being alone. It's a good feeling. I feel strong.