So you found a boundary with the music. I doubt there's anyone on here who hasn't found an awkward boundary, probably lots of times. 2 years ago I ruined Christmas for my self and hurt my then 3 year old niece very badly. And because of things that happened since then it probably is the last Christmas my whole family (mom, siblings, spouses, kids) will ever have together. We got to their house and were carrying in presents and the door didn't shut tightly and my brother's dog got out which he yelled at me for. I hadn't taken my klonopin like I should have prior to getting there so I was stressed and became manicky. My niece asked if there were presents for her and I sarcastically said "nope, none for you". She didn't see I was smiling and she spent 2 months asking "why did Aunt Jen lie to me?". I hurt her feelings so badly and I thought I couldn't have done anything worse to her for a while. But kids do move on and right now I'm her favorite person. I still am bothered by it and she's probably completely forgotten it.

I bet your daughter will move on too and that will be the end of it. I'm pretty sure she won't throw this in your face when she's 13; she'll find much better ammunition by then .