Situation at work
ME: "Hi, I really like your new hair cut."
Co-worker: "So what? You're saying I looked like ***** before?" and storms off.

Me: "I really liked my drive into work today. Everyone cleaned up their yards for Easter and the town looks so nice with the flowers blooming."
Co-worker 1: "What would a heathen like you be doing thinking of Easter?"
Co-worker 2: "So you're implying that all our yards looked like crap before?"
Both storm off.

Situation in town
Me: "I'd like to order some sheet metal for the roof of my shed."
Store employee: "We don't serve your kind here."

Me: "Would it be possible to get a book on Earth based religions through inter-library loan?"
Librarian: "You know the population we serve would never permit a book like that to pass through the library."

Situation at work, dealing with the public
Me: "Hi, I'm XXXXX with the XXXXX. I'm here to take a water sample."
Public: "I'm sick and tired of this d@man government over reach. This is private property and no one, not even you with the government badge has the right to be here. You have 5 seconds to get back in that truck and get off my property before I start shooting and I'm within my rights to do it!"

Situation, family
Me: "Hi Mom, it's me . . ."
Mom: Hangs up the phone.

Me in a letter because she has caller ID and won't answer the phone when I call: "What are everyone's plans for Christmas?"
Grandma in return letter: "You can just mail up the presents for everyone. You know your uncle can't stand your religious bullsh!t. Besides a lot of people said they won't come if you are going to be here."