I am 54 years old and have had mental illness since I have been 15. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 in 2007. Years ago I found it easier to bounce back but for some reason it's become harder and harder to come back after a relapse. I am going through a slight med change right now and am seeing my therapist regularly. I am a caregiver for my father who has dementia and it's just adding to my depression.

I applied for SSI disability and was turned down twice and am applying for a third time. If I am turned down I plan on getting a job through Vocational Rehab. I know my father won't be around forever and I do get a little help but it's not enough. Right now my tdoc recommends that I get a volunteer job so I have something to do a few times a week. Also so I don't have time to obsess so much. It's just so hard to get myself motivated. I don't even want to get out of bed and dying sounds like a really good idea.