Just a thought- how much do you trust your therapist? And how much does your child trust your adult self? Is your adult self able to be kind to your child? Maybe it will come with time and your memories are too painful to process yet? Of course I don't have the answers but I'm in a similar boat and this is what I guess some of my reasons are. My t tells me not to push; to relax. But I'm not specifically in EMDR. I have been recommended for it, but I don't want to leave my current t. And the EMDR therapists I've spoken to say the trust is very important and might take a lot of time.