I’m getting some pretty strong sui urges today. No particular reason. Just feel like I’ve had enough. I’m tired. I’m sitting here just arguing with myself about it. Do I? Don’t I? Do it now before things get even worse…because they always do. Do it now because no one actually cares, not really. Do it now, enough already.

But… also I can’t. I have things planned. Things to look forward to. For this weekend at least anyway. How hard is it to stick around? Just a few more days…..

And at the same time I have a constant thought telling me I need to die. That’s been there for a few weeks.

It’s exhausting having this argument. I’m tired and want to give up.